LSAD. Glad you spoke up.

It just so happens that I have had an opportunity to speak with our puke... uh I mean fearless leader regarding his Se7en list. Though he swore he'd only tell me in the strictest of confidence, I feel it is my civic duty, as a freedom (fries) loving citizen of Oceania (fuck. I did it again) I mean United States of America, to inform the masses of this rare & personal glimpse into the mind of such a global visionary.

So here it is direct from the mouth of the keystone of rightlessness & nationalism as dictated by Hubris Humility:

SE7EN

Se7en things that scare me
- Flint, Michigan
- competent public speaking
- trees
- Canada
- anyone educated on a post-secondary level
- comedians like Bill Hicks and Dave Chapelle
- brown people

Se7en things i like the most
- OIL MUTHAFUCKA
- strip mining
- inviting clueless friends to be invaluable parts of the national corporation
- clear cutting
- invading other sovereign nations for no excusable reason
- Eddie
- Me of course

Se7en most important things in my wing
- my stock ticker for energy companies (if only I could read it on my own)
- my pet called Eddie (I wish I knew how to link this fucker... no. no I don't)
- my Risk game... are you sure its only a game?
- my TV
- THE red button
- my money stuffed bed
- my dartboard featuring the face of Ani DiFranco

Se7en random facts about me
- I really think a space shield is a great idea
- My IQ is 73
- I am a wrecking fairy
- I am a Fortunate Son
- my hands are very soft from all the work I've done in my life
- I can't tell the difference between speaking and taking a massive shit
- I am a donkey raping shit eater

Se7en things I plan to do before I die
- North America
- Europe
- Asia
- Africa... (ooo! I did that one already!!)
- South America
- Australia
- Hmmm. Not much I can do with Antarctica. I guess I'll have scorch the skies of this planet with nuclear winter instead.

Se7en things I can do
- contribute to the decay of western society
- ride bikes
- golf
- rely on media to lie convincingly
- rely on fear to back up the lies
- fishing
- rig the ever loving fuck out of national elections... twice

Se7en things I can't do
- fight my own wars
- tolerate opinions
- understand why sex is fun
- be compassionate
- love
- more damage to the Earth than she can wash away
- read

Se7en things I say the most (quoted except for the first)
- (insert any incomprehensible rhetoric not unlike what John Madden does when commentating for the NFL)
- I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I am going to be the president of everybody.
- ... and we're movin' forward.
- This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.
- I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.
- Our nation must come together to unite
- Do you have blacks too?

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adding this:
se7en things that attract me to a (wo)man:
- Desire for conquest... through me (Good God I love Risk)
- Acting like a piece of corporate art
- puritanical sex
- anything as long as I'm looking trough my beer goggles
- Flashing a little ankle
- Bare feet
- denial
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Se7en celeb crushes
- Pat Robertson
- Condoleeza Rice
- Jerry Falwell
- Toby Keith
- Rush Limbaugh
- Dick Cheney (and what a dick indeed)
- Lance