The Lost Art of Curling Up With Someone

I'm constantly randy. That is no secret. Given the option, I will likely choose sex. (why does it rule me so?) While this desire is hardly ever appeased no matter how much playtime I get to indulge in, I think I have a growing desire for finding someone to do absolutely nothing with. That desire has always been there. After all, I'm a softy, a frantic romantic (hopeless at that), inherently sweet (thanks Sass), & childlike. I tend to see lazing on a couch with someone for hours & hours as time very well spent. That sweet warmth of someone curled up with me. In the bitter Winter's freeze, I love to hide inside with hot cocoa or coffee & movies & games. Wrapped in warm dry blankets and wool socks to take off when its too hot and rub chilly feet together when it is too cold again. Napping, snoozing, comatose afternoons...

So this was inspired by someone else's recent post on the same subject.

But quite simply, it is not that simple. A small fire was there before. This was fanned into what this post reveals. All it took was sleeping. Not before, not after. Those barely awake parts of gently brushing skin. It made me realize just how much I miss that kind of innocence. I was apologized to but for what? I was not wronged. I chose to be there. Instead I feel the need to apologize for being a part of what was later identified as a bad idea. Not my fault yet an accomplice.

Plus there is this to consider: am I impatient as fuck? Maybe. I seem to want it all like it should be a given. Or like it was always there until now. I feel selfish because I could stand to engage in this type of activity with many women. One at a time of course. I've never want to try to manage multiple relationships ever again. My archives are evidence of that. But I also feel selfless because I care differently but greatly for each of these individuals as well. I care about what they think & say & feel... even if I disagree across the board. Do I care too much? Am I not enough of a prick? Why don't I just want to be left the fuck alone? I just don't. I love to care, I love to love, I love to listen. Is it not the opposite of these that makes someone selfish? Or is it selfish to be so enthralled with those for my own desire of observation and social education?

Still... for the next person I get to get to do fun stuff with, some lyrics that run through my head:

Obstacle 2

I'm gonna pull you in close
I'm gonna wrap you up tight
I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight
I'm gonna hold your face, and toast the snow that fell
Cuz friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell

I feel like love is in the kitchen with a culinary eye
I think he's making something special
And I'm smart enough to try
If you don't trust yourself for at least one minute each day,
Well you should trust in this, girl, cuz something is coming our way.

If you can fix me up we'll go a long way
If you can fix me up, girl, we'll go a long way.

I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days
It takes a long time just to get this all straight.
I'll showcase on Route 7 when I find the right place
It takes a long time just to get this all straight
In my mind, this is my free-time

Cuz friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell.
(Take my love in real small doses)

To let it all away
Spend it all today
Spend it all today
It took time then I found you.

-Interpol