Oh yeah! I forgot about 'Staggering' part 2
We had it all figured out. Planned to perfection you see. See? I pasted our itinerary :)
Itinerary:
Wednesday
10am: Canadian Tire trip for last minute camping gear
10:30am: Yank out hair and scream at incompetence of employees
11am: Carry big honking cooler full of more gear onto mass transit system
noon: Pack car
1pm: Depart for five hour trip
2pm: Stop to scour child vomit from everything including her
2:50pm: Dodge to back of nearest building to smoke a bowl in the desperate hopes that it will put you to sleep until your timely arrival. (no, I was not driving)
3pm: Feed sick child Gravol and resume travel
7pm: Arrive in the right county & get lost as fuck
8pm: Arrive at Kaleidoscope in time to raise moon base in a heavy down pour. Tent? No. Moon base.
See?
First, notice this nice family milling about their dry and sunny campsite. Fucking bitch-ass punk-ass happy people.
Moon Base: 17 x 16.5' x 74" h (5 x 5 x 2 m)
Sleeps 10 people and one large dog
Pet den can be used as a storage area for coolers, bags etc.
Coleman WeatherTec system (fat lotta fuckin' good that did us)
Easy set-up design with colour coded poles (provided its not pitch black in the best shower pressure you've ever had)
Room divider (to keep the 200 gallons of water on that side)
Fire-engine red and light beige
5-year manufacturer's warranty
9pm: Swim out of finished moon base, across site to appease exhausted, crying children (I felt bad for them. We all had many reasons to cry at that point).
10pm: Get kids lulled to sleep in a preset tent not being used by a fellow camper & reach for the relaxation sticks in pocket
10:04: Meet with security at the front of your tent regarding the increasing ferocity of the weather (heavier rains with high winds). Discuss pros & cons of moving children to the trailer in the site next door
10:30: Meet with security at the front of your tent regarding the increasing ferocity of the weather (heavier rains with high winds, lightning and golfball-size hail). Follow orders to move kids to trailer
10:40: Meet with security again regarding the further increasing ferocity of the weather (add tornado warnings to previous grocery list). Follow orders to carry kids to basement in a large house 200 yards away through all that shit in the pitch dark in your underwear and water up to your shins
10:50pm: Arrive in basement thinking you'll get to sleep to find a throng of children bouncing off the walls, scarfing popcorn & watching movie after movie. This, of course, means the youngin's in tow aren't getting back to sleep anytime soon.
Thursday
12am: Wander upstairs after mostly drip drying, to the living room where you'll watch the weather channel for three hours as if they'll tell you something different other than "your fucked" if your willing to wait just ten more minutes. Occasionally you'll check on the kids in between, finding them glued to all things Frankie Muniz.
3am: Finally, for fuck's sake, find your way to la-la-land.
8am: Wake, drink coffee gifted unto you & scoop kids, return to camp bearing soaked clothes, soaked kids and all of your bedding - also soaked :) Assess water, wind and hail damage. Miraculously find dry clothes in your bag and build camp with a new love for life and nature
God, I love this shit.
11:00am: There is no 11am silly! Time stopped as soon as you became welcomed in the natural surroundings in which you plunked yourself. Fun huh?!
yes.
So after all that, there was no more itinerary.
"What do you want to do today, Love?"
"Dunno. Somethin' later."
"Cooool."
And some things happened. Good things for the most part.
It was a 5 day weekend of freedom in comparison to the 3 contribution of my time to the Waste Management Crew of Hillside '06
(which didn't suck, mind you)
Yet free time is free time and a precious thing at that in my version of the world. There was no order to it for me other than sleep when your tired and eat when you're hungry. If it sounds fun, do it. *breathes long* yes. This is what I waited for.
The day after the monsoon the Sun was so bright and warm that it made the past 14 hours of my life melt into a dream at best. I helped prepare & eat lunch after finding a huge metal sheet of refuse in the forest which made a perfect sun-dryer for our beds n' such.
Damn. That was the wildest weather I've camped in. That was so exhausting to even recall that I feel the need to stop here and promise a part 3 to this epic vacation... If there is such a thing. Plus if I made this post any longer, ya'll might not finish reading it :)
love,
HH
THC ridden lung butter coughed upon your eyes by Hubris @ 7:07 PM
16 Souls whispering "wake up" into my ear
16 Comments:
Wow that sounds pretty exciting!
twas that for sure. Very adventurous.
I got hailed on last weekend, too, when we tried to go camping. However, our experience doesn't sound near as harrowing as yours, though. I did get stuck in a makeshift Red Cross shelter in North Platte, Nebraska, once when they shut down the interstate due to a snow storm. We were driving back home after spending Thanksgiving with our respective families in Minnesota. Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like spending the night on a cot in a gymnasium with two kids under 5 and a bunch of other grumpy travelers...
and midwesterners complain about earthquakes?? wtf?
i like the thing with the itinerary disappearing because there is no eleven am.
huneeb- they do?
sass- :) what can I say? Time just stopped.
pyrhonic-lmao! I've got minerals? sweet :) Hunting eh? I used to do that. Not that I couldn't anymore, just don't have the time... or space for the meat if I actually made a kill.
I always hear people from the midwest say they could never live in CA b/c of the earthquakes...
oh no honey! We can't live in CA because of the grossly out of control social problems :) That's me anyway.
i would live in california in a second... almost all my teachers are there...
and me teacher's teachers too.
:)
wow. you'd cry for leaving Canada, Sass
North Cali... Yes. There is still ample time to brood up there. Southrn Cali or the Vally... No. Many of the people I met in Florida had moved from Cali to the cheaper beach front of the Sunshine state. I'm pretty sure that prolonged sun disorder (PSD) afflicts California the same as it does Florida.
Harsh weather is good for a society. Without it, brains and bodies get soft. Time holds no value in a constant state of warmth. Give me some blizzards and hail anytime.
Well maybe not with kids (one sick). HH, I've got patience. Moreover, I love children. But I bow in the presence of your understanding. Gee Zuss! I'm sure I'd have blown up on MD and her kids by 1:00 A.M. Good work with your not killing anyone smaller than yourself.
Its true, man. I too have really come to appreciate the harsh weather that our regoin is capable of dolling out.
What about Oregon?
Too unpopulated?
I'm going to have to agree with Hubris on this one, Sass. You say all the time about how much you love Canada. If you really love it that much you will hate yourself for leaving no matter how much greener the grass looks. I once thought I could leave Colorado for a job, but within 6 months' time I was totally regretting it and jonesin' to get back. I moved back and I'm never leaving again. There is no place I'd rather be living than right here.
john i love living other places, but you see i KNOW i will always come back. i always do.
i don't want to move to la or palm springs, i want to move to a small town outside of sacramento. (north of san fran) there's this job there. and teachers i revere all around. and weather :)
and then? in a few years or ten i'll come home.
no worries though, i can't get a green card, canadians aren't welcome there.
i might move to italy for a while too... been thinking sorta seriously about that. there's so much of europe i haven't seen yet. or new zealand...
hrm actually, my resume is a lot better now, maybe i'll do some shopping...
oh yeah, and oregon is heaven on earth!
LSD: She wasn't sick by that time, it was just a bit of motion sickness on the way up.
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