A Silly Little Poem...

wake in the morning
can't forget to brush
thought it was toothpaste
but grabbed the wrong mush
brushin' with foot cream
time for a mouth flush
shredded love head is
givin' you a head rush

I said How ya doin'?
you said The one on the right.
my mistake for talkin' to ya
while your brain's mid-flight
Is there anybody in there?
awareness bright as night
probably shredded love head
deer in the headlights

gettin' your swerve on
you try driving straight
its never gonna happen
because of this ADD trait
eyes spy something shiny
no wonder you're always late
must be shredded love head
you really took the bait

spent the night alone
wishin' to be fed
by a hot sweet body
wet spots on the bed
dreamin' of the friction
cold showers instead
yet another symptom of
the shredded love head

-ME

Sentence: The Chair

I fear it. At least twice a month. This monster haunts my dreams. It waits silently, patiently, around the corner. I can see its self spawning ooze running down onto the floor inching ever closer to my hiding place. At the very last second, I spring from my slumber drenched in sweat, stumble to the bathroom and stare into the mirror, shaking. I splash some water on my face as so many do when nightmares come. Only, I wake up to the reality that this creature must be faced. I cannot kill it. I cannot break it. I can only appease it, subdue it for a fortnight until it is angry again.

WAIT LISTEN!! This is no ordinary monster! It wears a disguise if child-like innocence, I tell you the truth! I am strong enough to fight it but not defeat it. I AM the byronic hero that fights relentlessly. The monster? It is a demonic high-chair that a sweet little boy needs to use to have his meals. This chair throws food onto every nearby surface. As such, it must be cleaned. And wow... My predecessor would drag this beast into the shower of cleanly-Godliness, sizzling off all that was evil & encrusted. But the chair prevailed. My predecessor laid down her fiery sword so that she could rest (and teach Pilates). I now carry the burden. I must first soak it for an hour with cleaning spray, scrape the evil loose with only a toothbrush & a butter-knife (thanks to many nooks & crannies), THEN, I too, drag it into the shower of cleanly-Godliness.

We are safe.


For now...

Did You Know?

Your cigarettes contain:

acetone
(finger nail polish remover)

cadmium
(used in batteries)

hexamine
(barbecue lighter)

acetic acid 
(vinegar)

carbon monoxide 
(car exhaust)

hydrogen cyanide
(poison)

ammonia 
(toilet cleaner)

methane 
(sewer gas)

arsenic 
(poison)

DDT/Dieldrin
(used to kill bugs)

methanol 
(rocket fluid)

butane 
(lighter fluid)

ethanol 
(alcohol)

naphthalene 
(mothballs)

nicotine
(insecticide)

stearic acid 
(candle wax)

toluene
(industrial solvent)



YES I FUCKING KNEW!!

Shit, man. The problem is not that I haven't learned the dangers of inhaling carcinogens. The problem isn't even completely that I am addicted. The problem is that I absofuckinlutely LOVE to smoke. It is even better when I have been drinking. When I smoke MJ then a few hours later have one cigarette, I am stoned off my ass all over again.

Mary Jane instead? No problem except that it makes me a zombie to be a chronic... I'd rather smoke cigs.

but it has to stop

but if I forbid myself from tobacco (as I have in the past), I relapse

every time

occasional? socially? Not likely.

Bigger Better FASTER MORE

How American of me. But all I have to say to the ones who care for my health is that I'm sorry. I will try again. I will likely fail again. But I will always keep trying.