Worth the Price
So last weekend my folks marked their 35 wedding anniversary with a nice celebration dinner at a seafood restaurant. My presence was a surprise to them because they did not expect me to afford the trip. Thanks to my sister for paying for my train ticket. My mom was in tears. She was that excited that I could make it.
It was actually very difficult for me to be there. An anniversary party full of friends and family supporting 35 years of successful loving cooperation staring me in the face. I couldn't help but feel like a failure regarding my own destroyed marriage. These thoughts kept swimming trough my head and by the time we got to the restaurant, I was ready to numb myself. It went something like: 1 screwdriver, 2 screwdriver, 3 screwdriver, floor. I didn't actually hit the floor but the relevance of my issues sure did. I guess that is the beauty of numbing one's self in order to either help move on or simply have a good time.
So now I'm good & drunk & the party's over. My sister drives me back to the house with my mom & aunt in tow in the car behind us. My mom rushes up to our window & says with urgency to immediately get into the back seat of her car.
umm... k.
My sister asks, "Are we putting on our makeup?" My sister drags my drunk ass into the back seat of a 2 door Civic along with her 5 month old Great Dane. My mom declares that she's driving & my aunt takes the front passenger seat. As we pull away I ask where we're going & they all in unison reply that we're putting on our makeup. By the time my aunt pulls out a fat-ass joint for us to share I realize that "makeup" actually means getting stoned off our asses. This is merely a weak subterfuge for my dad. (seriously, like he doesn't know)
Wow dudes, this is the kind of giggly dope ya pray to get. We were laughing so hard, my mom is swerving as she drives & every time I exhale, the Great dane is putting his nose right into the smoke. We pull into the driveway after the joint is gone and we all put on lipstick. Yes, me & the dog too. We then stumbled out of the Civic like circus clowns giggling hysterically & the dog was staggering clumsily like the walking battle machines from Star Wars. My dad was in the doorway with arms folded & he asks if the dog was high as well. I replied "Probably" as the last bit of smoke belched out of my lungs & I fell to the floor of the garage to finish my giggle fit.
Damn what a cool weekend. I've never smoked MJ with mom before, let alone hot-boxed a Civic while driving with her. I'd say that smoking experience rates in the top 10 of all time with 2 or 3 belonging to Sass & Othercat & the rest are surely with LSAD & the Marijuana Madonna.
THC ridden lung butter coughed upon your eyes by Hubris @ 12:11 PM
8 Souls whispering "wake up" into my ear
8 Comments:
do you have a picture of the dog?
*giggling*
Dude, it's pretty clear to me that you put a lot into that marriage. Perhaps it would be healthier and maybe even more accurate to view it as a learning experience. To view the years spent in it as a success, as opposed to the years ahead, spent out of it, as a failure.
You learned and grew, and were fortunate to do that alongside a partner.
We all enter marriages expecting them to last forever (or else we wouldn't do it in the first place, I assume). There's no sense in beating ourselves up for growing up in different directions before forever is achieved. There's no sense in feeling bad about taking care of our needs and not staying in a damaging situation. It just doesn't help anything at all.
Learn from the past, but look to the future, and other cheesy cliches...
doll: thank you. i've been trying to articulate that very sentiment myself for some months without success.
hubris: what mightydoll said
Yes what MD said. But also what Sass said. Do you have any pictures of the high-on Dane?
No. But my mom has a pic of me high & lipsticked. She cannot yet figure out how to put the pics on her computer from her new camera. So ya'll will have to wait.
Yes. All of you are right. I grok this. I think what happens is fierce anger getting in the way.
"We are blessed aren't we?
In this shade of these large open leaves
Unexpectedly
We arrive where we're all meant to be."
-Iron & Wine (from LSD)
Emotions make for fabulous distortion dials regarding the real.
Yay for counselors.
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